When Your Happiness Depends On Others
Reflect for a moment on the happiness that is (or is not) in your life. What does that happiness depend on? Of you? Of others? One mistake we make that makes us feel unhappy is having to depend on others in order to be happy. If the others are not happy neither are we, but this does not work like that! Don’t you feel identified with this? Surely with the following situations yes.
Look good with others
In our life we always try to look good with others. With what objective? In order to prevent them from speaking ill of us, ending up in a dispute, feeling bad for believing ourselves guilty … In short, whenever we can, we are going to bow our heads in order to continue in our line and not create conflicts.
But this does not work like that. If differences arise between two people and this leads to a conflict, don’t feel bad! Think that both of you have to respect the opposite opinion and if someone is reluctant to do so, it is not worth making you feel bad.
Your fear is feeling guilty. You need to lower your head so that these conflicts do not arise and thus be happy? Happiness begins with yourself and you cannot hold back for fear of the unhappiness of others. Your happiness will begin when you start giving yourself the value you deserve.
You must learn to be happy
When you depend on others, there will come a time when you will realize that you are not happy. Really, you are looking for other people’s happiness and not your own. You seek the comfort of avoiding a confrontation, the joy of being well with everyone … but you really are in continuous concern to keep all this under control.
Stop being vulnerable to the opinion of others! You must believe in yourself, in your possibilities and stop depending on approval, on how others want to see you in order to be happy? You don’t have to control everything, you shouldn’t like everyone. This is impossible to achieve and you will only get frustrated.
You don’t need to please everyone, or even take responsibility for situations. Accept that the happiness of others should not be your own, that someone will always like you and it is something that you cannot avoid! What’s more, learn to be happy with rejection, criticism, conflict … Think of yourself first, not of others. Be selfish for once, it’s not wrong!
A matter of attitude
At first, dealing with this situation is not easy. By inertia you will continue to seek to please, to be in control of situations, to avoid anger! But this must stop and this requires a great effort. You must first be aware of your dependency situation and then start to act!
Once you start to give yourself the value you deserve and understand that your happiness only depends on yourself, it is time to respond to the things that you previously prevented from happening. If someone is contrary to you or tries to redirect your life to their liking, answer them! Besides giving you an adrenaline rush, you will feel good!
You also need to answer to yourself. For each person, happiness is found in different things. For that reason, we cannot let it depend on others because it is something personal! Perhaps you are afraid of finding your own happiness or it requires a lot of responsibility. Be that as it may, only you can find your own happiness.
What is the meaning of happiness for you? This is the first question you need to answer. But don’t make the mistake of thinking of someone else. No, now is the time for you to think of yourself, you come first. Be responsible and find your happiness.
Sometimes it is difficult for us to be happy, imagine when our happiness depends on others! The problem is increasing. We hope that if you depend on others you will learn, little by little, to seek your own happiness without the need for anyone. You must be dependent on your happiness. It is very easy to leave this responsibility to others, because being unhappy is easy! Start changing this today.
