What Is Aggressive Communication?

Although the way we communicate with others does not define us, we can say that it is associated, at least in part, with our personality. There are three major communication styles: aggressive, passive and assertive. In this article we will focus on aggressive communication.

This communicative style is based on rough interactions; In them, the person is not interested in what the other wants or may think if these elements cannot be aligned in favor of their interests . Thus, it is normal that people who usually use this communicative style do not have a very wide social circle or too close relationships. What else do we know about him?

Communication styles

The communication style has to do with how we interact with others, and with how we express our ideas, desires, feelings … This communicative style oscillates between two extremes: in one of these extremes, we find aggressive communication, and in the other, the passive communication.

In the middle of these extremes we find the “ideal” communication, which would be assertive communication. But what do we understand by each of these communication styles? In summary, we can say that:

• Aggressive communication: is one in which the feelings of others are not considered.
• Assertive communication: implies saying things defending our own rights and without offending, in a sincere and respectful way.
• Passive communication: one in which one is not able to express their true thoughts and desires for fear of confrontation with others.

What is aggressive communication?

Aggressive communication is one through which people only take into account their own rights and feelings, without taking into account the feelings of others. Thus, when a person communicates through this communicative style, he does so abruptly, without taking into account the rights of others.

That is, looking only for herself, for what she feels and needs. This type of communication can deteriorate the quality of social ties. Why?

Because it is a communicative style through which the other is not respected. In this sense, their self-esteem, dignity or sensitivity is not respected, and what is sought through aggressive communication is only to defend their own ideas or needs.

How do these people communicate?

This communicative style implies that one of the two parts of the interaction tries to have dominion over the other. They are people who find it difficult to listen, because when the other speaks they are more eager to “fight back” than to really listen.

On the other hand, these people tend to use aggressive language, both verbal and non-verbal; As we said, its purpose is to exercise certain control or dominance over the recipient or recipients of the message. How is your communication on a verbal and non-verbal level?

Verbal communication

People who frequently use this communicative style, on a verbal level, tend to use a high tone of voice. They make offensive, disrespectful, or even humiliating comments to the other.

They may articulate threats (for example: “If you don’t do what I want, there will be consequences”). Their aggression can be conveyed indirectly, for example through black humor, sarcastic comments full of rancor, malicious gossip …

Non-verbal communication

On a non-verbal level, these people seek to maintain eye contact at all times with the other (they can intimidate the interlocutor). Thus, their gaze can be challenging or with an expression of dominance.

They do not listen to the interlocutor, they do not respect speaking turns … His face may show a tense expression (with a frown). On the other hand, they make threatening gestures with their hands and body (for example, clenching their fists or pointing accusingly). Posturally, they are tense.

What message is actually conveying?

In a book by Lega et al. (2002), the authors argue that, when a person expresses himself through aggressive communication, what he is transmitting to the other are messages such as: «This is what I think», «This is what I want, what that you want is not important » ,« This is what I feel, your feelings do not count »…

These would be some examples of aggressive communication. But what are these people like? Do they have some kind of defining characteristic?

How are people with aggressive communication?

Although it cannot be generalized, we can speak of some common characteristics in people who interact through this communicative style. On the one hand, they are people who consider themselves superior to others (or more capable in X area), although often behind this “facade” a low self-esteem hides.

They do not care about the rights or feelings of others (they are usually selfish people, as well as having zero or very low empathy). In addition, they take advantage of others (they exploit their interpersonal relationships for their own benefit), and they can easily become involved in conflicts or fights, due to their communicative style.

And you, do you feel identified with this style of communication? Do you find it difficult to take the other into account in your interactions and do you focus more on others listening to you?

Like everything else, this way of communicating can change over time. This style of communication is not really effective, because through it communicative exchanges do not really take place (and much less healthy), but rather one (the aggressive one) expresses what he wants in a brusque way without listening to the other.