We Are What We Think And The People We Surround Ourselves With

People are not only what we think, we are also defined by the people we surround ourselves with. No environment is neutral, and few situations are alien to the influence that others can have on us based on what they tell us, what they do or do not do. Thus, and although we would love for all that influence to be positive and inspiring, the truth is that sometimes we experience the opposite.

In the literature of personal growth and in the world of positive phrases that flood our social networks, there is no lack of the classic message that ‘we always try to surround ourselves with enriching people’, those who always bring out the best in ourselves. However, let’s face it, this is not possible in all cases for very specific reasons.

Each one of us is, in part, the result of those who have raised and educated us, we are the product of our interactions with those figures we have met in school, institute, university, work and other social settings. It is not always possible for us to screen people; In most cases they are given to us and therefore, sometimes we are forced to live with someone we do not like at all.

Thus, and although in the end the experience has revealed us how to treat those who make us uncomfortable or bring us anguish instead of happiness, the result of those interactions and experiences also determines us. Therefore, what we are now is the complex, but beautiful, canvas of each and every one of the people who formed, and are part, of our existential journey.

The people we surround ourselves with also define us

Jim Rohn, an entrepreneur and renowned author of books on motivation, happiness, and leadership, points out that each of us is the result of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Here, therefore, there is a small but evident nuance, and that is that those figures with whom we share more hours at the end of the day are not always our partners, family and friends.

Sometimes, and due to our working hours, we spend more time away from home. This means, for example, that the influence of coworkers, bosses or other figures in the organization, largely define our state of mind. Even more, there is another detail that we sometimes overlook that also has a great impact on our well-being.

Dividing our time in multiple social settings does not always revert to our well-being. Sometimes our days are a complex succession of movements, where we go from home, to work, then to the gym, courses, shopping, family visits, times spent with people with whom we get along and with whom we do not … All of this often It leads to accumulating high stress that we are not always aware of.

Thus, studies such as the one carried out at the School of Social Policies and at the University of Singapore, show us that although well-being is subjective, greater happiness is perceived when we share time with fewer people, as long as they are obviously significant figures and enriching.

The people we surround ourselves with condition us

It is evidence. The people we surround ourselves with determine us in many cases because they are somehow part of the environment to which we have to adapt. This occurs frequently at the family level. Each of us end up fitting as unique pieces into the machinery that our parents build.

We are defined by the mandates, the advice given or not given, the words, the silences, what we see and also the expectations they place on us. On the other hand, this can also occur at the level of a couple, where over time we end up internalizing, almost without realizing many characteristics of the other person and vice versa.

You are in control, choose well who you want on the trip of your life

Seneca said that life is a theatrical work and that therefore, it does not matter how long it lasted, but how well it has been represented. To this wise message another one is added, and that is that in that representation we are not always alone, there are more actors on the stage of life and it depends on us whether in that role we act as protagonists or as mere supporting characters.

The people we surround ourselves with determine us, we know that. You can’t always choose your family, but you can decide when the time comes, with whom to keep in touch and with whom not. Nor can we deactivate, as if it were a video game, those uncomfortable co-workers, classmates, neighbors or acquaintances who are often not pleasant to us.

Despite not being able to avoid these presences, we can, of course, learn to manage them by setting limits, opening emotional umbrellas and preventing their behaviors from having power over us. On the other hand, and here comes the most important thing, each of us has a margin of freedom to decide who enters and who leaves our lives.

Surrounding yourself with good people is not an art, it is a necessity. Having figures by our side that inspire us, that allow us to get the best out of ourselves, is not a gift, it is a privilege. Let’s keep it in mind every day.