The Hard Way Of Heartbreak

Your relationship has been broken and the world has fallen on you. Perhaps you think that you have been the culprit or on the contrary, the other person or perhaps that you have been both … In one way or another, looking to blame in a breakup is a way to avoid facing the situation and the feelings that originate from undertaking the hard way of heartbreak.

Nothing will be as before and that confuses us and hurts us as if we had a thorn stuck in our heart. The experience of heartbreak is a painful path that must be traversed after putting an end to what one day was our dream. Let’s dive into how to do it.

Heartbreak when love is not over

It is more difficult to leave a relationship when we are still in love and we find ourselves in that cloud of love that envelops us all than when it has disappeared. Because here love has not been the reason for the break but the contribution of other factors that, if they had been on our side, might have prevented this end that hurts us so much.

As we see falling out of love is not easy because we do not choose to be with someone and then take distance and break everything we experienced with her. But beyond the decision not to continue with a relationship despite being in love, there is still another experience that is even harder and more difficult to face: when our partner leaves us or decides to end the relationship and we have no other option to choose.

At this moment we may go through a period in which we are not aware of what happened and it is difficult for us to assimilate it. But when we realize it, the world falls on us and we break into a thousand pieces. To rebuild we will need time, because our wounds have to heal the trace of a love that has not continued as we expected …

Get rid of our love

Being able to forget our love or at least stop feeling it is not an easy task, but a long process that in most cases will be accompanied by nostalgia, sadness and sleepless nights. The question is not to blame or responsibility anyone since when we fall in love we are taking risks because we expose ourselves to a series of circumstances that we cannot control, such as the other person not corresponding to us or that at some point they decide not to continue.

Despite this, we have to pay attention because our unconscious may lead us to do things that we should not do in this situation. Unconscious actions that the more we influence in carrying them out, the more pain they will cause us, such as:

• Maintain continuous contact with our ex-partner. Knowing about our ex-partner is not bad at all as long as it is from time to time to make sure that that person we loved so much is okay. The worrying thing comes when this contact is day by day because we may be delusional and believe we can recover that person when it is not.
• Obsessing over looking for what we have done wrong or where we have failed so that the relationship is over. As a general rule, a break involves an accumulation of variables and details that are sometimes difficult to detect. There is usually no single reason. The point is not to get caught up in guilt and to respect the decision that the other person has made.
• Hope to return. At first, having hope will be inevitable because any detail will be enough to get us excited. Given this, it is better that we stop to reflect and try to accept what happened without embellishing it. It will take us a while there is no doubt but it is the best option if we do not want to do ourselves more harm.

• Keep objects and clothes of the other person. Keeping a shirt or an object of our ex-partner and from time to time smelling it or picking it up anchors us in the past and does not allow us to move forward. One recommendation is to return everything that was not a gift and the latter keep them in a safe place until we are ready to see them again.

Thus, avoiding all these actions will help us to take the break. We have spent a lot of time with that person, we have shared many moments it is normal that we cling to it and more when the decision to finish has not been ours. However, this is no excuse to stay there in that void that consumes and traps us.

The path of heartbreak is a path that we have all had to go through at some time. If we haven’t already, better for us! But if it has already happened to us, let’s try not to make the same mistakes a second or third time.   Let’s not allow heartbreak to sink us and make us suffer more than it should.  Accepting it can be hard and painful, but it will avoid much more pain than we think.

Images courtesy of Lauri Blanck, Cheryl Lond, Trendhunter