Self-disclosures: Advantages And Problems In Communication

What do we do when we meet a person? To break the ice and start a fluid conversation we make use of self- disclosures, that is, we provide free information about ourselves. No one is asking us about anything personal. However, in our attempt to establish a bond with the other person, we use this strategy.

Self-disclosures are considered strategies because they are an important part of our social skills. It is true that there are people who use them less than others. And although their use is beneficial, they can also lead to problems when used excessively.

Self-disclosures when we meet someone

How do we identify self-disclosures? It is very simple. Every time we express an opinion, express our wishes or talk about ourselves, we are using self-disclosure. As we have said, they are a way to make ourselves known, a strategy to create a warm and pleasant atmosphere and sometimes, try to coincide. For example, if we give an opinion and the other person agrees with us, we are well on the way to building a bond.

Giving information about ourselves is very pleasant, since it creates a climate of trust and invites the other person to also talk about themselves. In these circumstances, it is normal that there is interest and they begin to ask questions.

Self-disclosures are very helpful because there is no one we know other than ourselves. If we don’t have a lot of social skills, they are a good start to start a conversation. Giving personal information always attracts, generates curiosity and invites others to want to know us better.

However, even if we make use of this tool, sometimes we fall into certain errors. Many times, we do not know why we have disliked a person or why the relationship has not taken shape. These types of situations can reveal a problem related to self-disclosures.

The problems of self-disclosure

Although self-disclosures have seemed like an excellent way to start conversations and meet new people, the truth is that sometimes they do not benefit us. Here are some of the mistakes that can lead to tense situations.

Project a false image

All the information we give about us is “good information”. We do not talk about our shortcomings, shortcomings or weaknesses. If we go too far in giving this information, we can project an image of false perfection that can cause us to lose credibility.

Some situation may come to mind in which we have thought that another person believed themselves better than others or that they showed themselves as someone without any defect. He was probably exaggerating what he said about himself or focusing too much on the positive.

Exceeding giving information

There are people who like someone to be honest with them, opening up even if they don’t know much about them. However, there are others who are uncomfortable with certain types of information. For this reason, it is necessary that we be cautious until we fully know the person with whom we are interacting.

For example, being too detailed in telling something or expressing feelings accurately, can generate some rejection if there is no confidence. Hence, we have to be very alert to the non-verbal communication of who is in front of us to know if we have to reserve some things.

It is important to note that not providing any information about us and being airtight does not favor the building of new relationships. The same happens if we go overboard with the information and launch it as if we were talking to someone we know a lot (without this being the case). These two extremes are very negative. Therefore, the success of self-disclosures is in balance.

Chances are, most of us have made mistakes with self-disclosures. It is normal. It is not easy to distinguish what kind of information to give at first or to guess if the other person is going to feel bad about what we are telling them. However, you learn from experience.

The most important thing is to be aware of the automatic use we make of this social skill and, above all, to keep in mind that self-disclosures strengthen ties with known people and help us build relationships with unknown people. The magic is in the balance.