Say Goodbye To Victimhood

Saying goodbye once and for all to victimhood is key to achieving an exciting and happy life. Nobody likes to be a victim, but the truth is that placing ourselves in this position in a fictitious way offers certain advantages that sometimes it is difficult for us to give up. For example, it seems that it is a position that legitimizes us to ask for care and attention, when otherwise we could not claim it.

Life is often hard and difficult, both for ourselves and for the rest of the world. We are all going to suffer adversity at some point along the way. Some tougher, others more bearable, but it seems clear that obstacles are also part of this gift that is living.

That is, we do not have the ability to choose what is going to touch us in life, at most, we can make more or less correct decisions but nothing guarantees the release of pain. Of course, we can always choose in which way we prefer to face problems.

Be anchored in victimhood

We have all known someone who is continuously complaining about everything, assuming the role of a damaged or hurt person, who usually blames the world or others but does little to get out of that black well in which he is supposedly sunk, does it sound familiar to you? ?

They are people anchored in victimhood, that is, in the tendency to think that they are unhappy, that they are the favorite target of misfortune and others are mean to them and want to harm them, when reality says otherwise. They may be really believing it, due to perceptual distortion, or it may just be a simulation exercise.

The people around him try to help him in vain, which only reinforces his pessimistic attitude and in the end, they all end up suffering, although the one who suffers mainly is the victimizer himself because deep down he rarely stops feeling bad about himself. . Often times, you have low self-esteem and think that just by putting yourself in the role of victim will you deserve love and attention.

How to recognize a victimizing person?

You want others to acknowledge your suffering

When his circle tries to help him, he feels attacked because what he is looking for is the reinforcement of his state, that is, to provide him with words and phrases such as “poor thing”, “how badly life is treating you” or “you are a wretch, what bad luck you have ”. If you try to encourage them to take charge of their lives and try to find solutions, they get offended and think that we don’t want to understand them or put ourselves in their place.

They try to blame others and life

We have previously commented that, although it is true that life brings many bumps with it, it is no less real that there are people who get depressed easily and others with much greater adversities who stay on their feet and continue to live normally.

Blaming others and the world is useless, this attitude only maintains the problem or reaffirms us as victims without resources. Victimists do not look for solutions to fix their adversity, but rather they protest how unfair life is and how miserable they are to their own exhaustion and that of others.

They emotionally manipulate others:

It is a strategy widely used by these people, since through the tactic of provoking feelings of sadness in others, it is easier to get certain privileges.

Some phrases that may come to mind at this point may be: “I have raised you since childhood and now you are going to live with your partner and leave me alone”, “If you get good grades, mom will heal” . In this way, the other person feels responsible for the emotional state of the other and will do everything possible to please him, even if he has to violate his own rights and needs.

What do we do with these people?

Quite simply: don’t get into their game. If we get caught up in the blackmails and laments of those who exercise victimhood, we are reinforcing them and we are not helping them but we are harming them. The problem is that doing this is very difficult because our culture has taught us since we were little that we have to feel compassion for those who suffer and help others, even if our own interests are relegated to the background and this really does not have to be that way.

Anyone would surrender to her complaints and tuck her in, but certainly, that is not the solution because we are reinforcing that she is not able to get out of there and that the solution is to complain and do nothing. It is difficult, but if we know how to correctly identify a victimizing attitude, we must try not to give in and help them so that we do not reinforce their attitude.

We will tell you that we are there to find a solution to the problem, but not the one posed to us but the one we see.  To do everything possible to get him out of that position, but not to listen to complaints or to infect ourselves with negativity. Otherwise, the “vistimista” person will not begin to realize that their strategies are not working and that they should consider changing.