No Matter What Your Parents Did, NOW The Person In Charge Of Your Life Is YOU
It’s the same. It doesn’t matter what your parents did or didn’t do at the time. In the present the person in charge of your life is you. You are responsible for what you create for yourself, the family you build, the self-love you practice, the hugs you give yourself, the warmth of affection you generate for yourself and those around you.
Yes, it is true, what happens to us in childhood, adolescence and even in adulthood with our parents marks us for life. However, that does not relieve us of the responsibility we have for our lives and our emotions. The present is the ideal time to purify our past and detoxify our love life.
Because a home is warm and living permanently with the memory of an upbringing with defects only turns our affective self into an icy igloo. We cannot live if we have not healed our wounds, if we have not put aside the edge of the knives …
Healing wounds from a dysfunctional childhood legacy
To a greater or lesser extent, we all have toxicity tinges in our childhood. It happens that in some cases the negative outweighs the positive and, therefore, the family becomes a complex network of twisted or ambivalent relationships, ties and feelings.
The elaboration of the bonds with our parents far from that ideal turns us into boiling cauldrons, which are the genesis of complex and harmful dynamics.
We may seem calm at first glance, but in reality deep down we hide true antagonistic forces that fight to grease our beliefs, our values and our feelings towards the world and towards ourselves.
Parents are people and as people they make mistakes. However, the pain caused in the son remains. In this sense, just as we shamelessly affirm that we must learn from our mistakes, WE CAN ALSO DO IT FROM MISTAKES MADE BY OUR PARENTS.
Thus, those who have not been lucky enough to grow up in a fully functional family, have to do double work to strengthen themselves and appreciate the feeling of love and respect towards oneself and towards their environment. To achieve this, it is good to have the guidance of a mental health professional, who will help us open the channels of communication with ourselves.
Self-destructive and punishing behaviors towards others must be reevaluated and rejected by our PRESENT SELF, which is constituted as an adult self and with the ability to discern about the possibility of realizing itself.
Childhood is destiny , Freud would say; But the truth is that we cannot live defenseless our whole lives under the excuse that we had a complicated childhood and not at all ideal. We must internalize the message that no matter how destructive our parent-child relationships have been, the prospects for our future belong to us.
Whoever you are, feeling valuable and worthy of happiness and love is a fundamental pillar for your capacity for vital development. This requires you to be highly empathetic or empathic with yourself, recognizing through that empathy the right to live your own life as you choose.
