Emotions Help Us Meet Our Needs

All people have needs of different types, as Maslow explained with his pyramid. Some are basic needs, such as food and protection; others are related, such as affection and recognition. Emotions help us meet our needs, since they help us to survive, to distinguish between a dangerous situation or one that produces well-being. In addition, they encourage or motivate us to relate and communicate with others.

In this way, emotions are our inseparable travel companions. The point is, sometimes we get tired of them being with us day and night. Therefore, we have to learn to manage them, to obtain a better inner coexistence.

We exist and we communicate thanks to emotions

Emotions are necessary for survival; one of its main functions is to prepare us physiologically for action. Many animals present emotional behaviors that are characterized by being very effective, that is, there are certain emotions that allow us to take immediate action. This is perhaps the first sense in which emotions help us meet our needs.

For example, when we feel fear because we see a snake, before we can think if it is poisonous or not, our body already reacts. In this case, our heart rate increases so that more blood reaches the muscles and we can move them to physically escape possible danger. In this way, if we need to quickly withdraw from a situation, we do not waste time thinking and we will increase our chances of survival.

Emotions communicate information to others about how we perceive and interpret stimuli, both internal and external. Generally, a good part of this communication is done through non-verbal communication. This type of communication is faster, more natural and intuitive than verbal language. In this way, even if it is not our intention, the communication of emotions exerts an influence on others.

Emotions serve as a guide, since they give us valuable information about each situation. They help us determine whether the experience is good for us or not depending on whether we feel it in a pleasant or unpleasant way. In this way, depending on our feeling, we will want to repeat an experience or avoid it. Therefore, emotions are like an internal compass that helps us to orient ourselves and put light on what is important, therefore emotions help us meet our needs.

Emotions help us meet our needs

Emotions are neither positive nor negative, some are simply pleasant such as joy and others are unpleasant such as anger and helplessness. All emotions have a purpose, they are valid and necessary. We could understand them as our travel companions, as friends who want to help us and tell us what our needs are. For instance:

• Anger : anger felt in front of an unjust situation or we perceive that our rights have been violated. We need to set limits and protect ourselves.
• Sadness : we feel sad when we experience the loss of a person, object, job, etc. In many cases, sooner or later we need someone else’s contact to get comfort.
• Fear : we feel fear when faced with a dangerous situation. We need to feel protected and safe.

• Joy : we feel joy when we have gained something, be it a pleasant experience, a personal goal, a job success, material goods, etc. We usually need to share it with other people.

If we didn’t feel anger, would we protect ourselves? If we didn’t feel sad, could we absorb the losses? If we were not afraid, how would we know that we are in front of a danger? If we did not feel joy, how would we know what produces well-being and thus be able to repeat it? Let emotions do their job and guide us!

4 strategies to regulate emotions

It’s okay for emotions to guide us, but we have to find the right way. We cannot just let ourselves be carried away by impulses, without paying attention to our thoughts. Feeling any emotion is beneficial, but up to a point. We cannot let emotion overwhelm us and prevent us from getting out of it. Therefore, we need to know how to manage them. The following strategies help us regulate them:

Identify

Being aware of the emotion we are feeling helps us  manage it. Knowing how to differentiate, for example, if we are sad or angry and being able to distinguish what was the specific situation or the thought that caused this emotion to arise, gives us more information to act accordingly. In addition, being aware of our own emotions helps us to recognize them in others and, therefore, to have more empathy.

Tolerate

As we have said, there are emotions that we consider unpleasant, such as sadness, which we usually try to remove from our emotional repertoire. However, we have to learn to tolerate emotion. Emotions come and go … like the waves of the sea. Everything has its process. If we are sad now, it does not mean that we will always be sad, or that we ourselves are sad people. Therefore, we do not have to strain to try to suppress an emotion. We have to tolerate the emotion, that is, feel it, listen to it, without blocking or increasing it.

Self-regulate

We are all capable of self-regulation. As Greenberg (2000) explains, knowing emotions offers personal clarity and control. If we understand that a direct battle against our emotions is useless , we can have more control over them. This means not only letting the sensation fade over time, but trying to push away negative thoughts that make the emotion more intense, distracting ourselves to decrease its intensity, controlling impulsivity, delaying gratification, etc. In this way, we will be taking care of ourselves and we will be facilitating that our well-being increases.

Express and communicate

Apart from having our own resources, we can also, indeed, we must express emotion and communicate it to the people around us. Emotions need to be shared. We must trust others and seek the care of those who could relieve us, communicate our feelings and needs.

Ultimately, emotions help us meet our needs and guide us to know how we should act. They are very valuable because thanks to them we can survive and communicate. First we feel the emotions and then we decide what to do with them, thus being responsible for our actions. Thus, let us be  consistent with our feelings and thoughts. Also, let’s do it assertively, that is, respecting our needs and those of others.

Bibliographic references

Greenberg, LS (2000). Emotions: an internal guide. Bilbao: Desclée de Brouwer.
Greenberg, LS & Paivio, SC (2000). Work with emotions in psychotherapy. Madrid: Paidós.