Chaos, A State That Favors Narcissists

Chaos is one of the great allies of narcissists. Without that state of general disorder, a narcissist cannot reign as he wishes, consciously or unconsciously. If there is order, he is nobody. Nor can he unfold those dramas to which he is so accustomed.

Remember that narcissism is characterized by an excessive exaltation of the self. It is not a sign of too much self-esteem, but an overestimation of expectations in front of the self. A fantasy of grandeur in front of oneself. A desire to stand out or to be above others.

A dose of narcissism is healthy in the adult. It helps the individual to coalesce and reaffirm in front of the world. However, when this pseudo-self-esteem is excessive, it gives rise to the emergence of a pathological narcissism. In the most extreme cases, the narcissist becomes incapable of giving real value to others. The others are instruments that only serve as a means to exalt oneself.

Chaos and narcissists

Pathological narcissists display a series of behaviors designed to satisfy this desire for self-exaltation. What these behaviors have in common is that they wreak havoc to a greater or lesser extent. It is in the disorder where they manage to “be someone” and have others under control.

Chaos is the hallmark of bosses or leaders who give orders and counter orders all the time. Of those who implement absurd measures, which instead of facilitating activities hinder them. Those who do not communicate clearly and give rise to confusion that if they reach a good result, allow them to claim the credit. And if they lead to mistakes, it gives them the leeway to blame others.

Narcissists also promote chaos in more everyday or familiar situations. They correspond to those friends, family or partners who tell you one thing and then do another, for no apparent reason. They tell you that they are going to help you and when you need them they don’t show up. They assure that they will arrive at one hour and appear at another. They play with your expectations and throw you off balance. They sow chaos and thereby ensure a margin of control over the other.

Narcissists and drama

In the case of pathological narcissists, chaos is often accompanied by drama. The boss or the leader of which we spoke, accompanies his disorder with shows of indignation and concern. He will be saddened or hysterically surprised by everything that happens. As if it were not himself who led everything to uncertain results.

Likewise, the person who does not appear to fulfill a commitment is probably not going to excuse himself. On the contrary, it will mount a whole drama. It is very common that they end up victimizing themselves. They have too many occupations.

The point is, deep down, they create situations that allow them to feel like they rule the world. They try to be in the center of everything, but they do not take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they create scenarios to put on a show of intense emotional expressions.

The effect on others

In one way or another, narcissists use chaos to psychologically break others. They design situations, most of the time unconsciously, so that others are filled with anxiety. So that they go crazy a little. If they succeed, they also achieve what they really want: to be decisive in the lives of others, even in a bad way and through tricks.

However, in this type of psychological realities there is always a face and a stamp. In the face is the narcissist sowing chaos and manipulating others. On the label is that same narcissist being the victim of his own pathology. Narcissists are more likely to feel disenchanted with life and bored with reality. In a word, they are more prone to depression.

This is due to the inauthenticity of their actions. They are, so to speak, trapped within themselves. They fail to establish deep and constructive bonds with others and are overly dependent on others. If they manage to manipulate them, they satisfy that image of themselves that they long for. If they don’t, they easily experience feelings of inferiority, lack of interest in life, and frustration.