To Be Right Or Not

We could be in the same place and at the same time and have different experiences ; in fact, this is more normal than we imagine. Perhaps because we need it, because it makes us feel safe, many times we need to think that we are right, that what we see and what we hear is what really happens and we are willing to defend it against anyone.

It may be good if we realized that everything we perceive is colored by our previous experiences, by our beliefs and by the acuity of our senses. To this we can add that it is very easy to deceive our senses; in fact, a lot of perceptual deceptions circulate on the Internet.

The brain has specific schemes to perceive reality

Magicians deceive us because they know how our brain works; They use this knowledge to confuse us, to make us look where the piece is not or to see a movement where it is not. The brain has specific schemes to perceive reality, which have their advantages and limitations, not knowing our limitations is precisely what limits us.

It’s a bit like the saying “order pears from the elm”. When we discover how our brain works, we learn to get more out of it without wanting it to give us pears, which are also not necessary. I will tell you a little story that, by the way, was real. This story talks about reason and the functioning of memory. I go with her:

The anecdote happened to some brothers; When they told me about it, they were in their twenties and between two and three years old. They both remember that, when they were little, they went with their parents to spend a day near a place where there was water. They had a great time, but at a certain point, a summer storm formed that forced them to run out of the place. They say that once everything was collected and, probably due to the rush of the parents, they started the car leaving one of the children outside.

The paradox arises because both claim to be the child who was left out and both are offended with the other for usurping his place. They asked their parents and they do not remember the event, so they cannot be sure. They both believe they are right.

I think the experience was real, because they both have a vivid memory ; I think that the parents do not remember it because for them it was not so important, since it must have been second what one of them was out of the car. And I think that the one who was inside, suffered so much for the one who was outside, that he remembers the experience as if he had passed it.

Who is right?

Who is right? The parents who did not give importance to the fact? The brother who was left outside or the one who, being inside the car, lived it so deeply that he imagined himself outside? If we had the ability to see that moment, we would know exactly what happened, but we can’t and, furthermore, if it did, we might give a new version, in this case, ours.

I invite you, the next time you have a discussion with someone who is right, think that there may be different versions of reality, one for each of the points of view and that, instead of getting angry, you try to understand the motives of the other or, at the very least, simply accept that it is another way of seeing things.

This may not leave us in doubt about who is right, but it will almost certainly make us feel better. By the way, the brothers were satisfied when they realized that what clouded the story was the affection that the one who was inside had for the one who was outside.

Thus, what is really important is not that our senses deceive us, nor that we believe we are right, but that many times we take the discussion to an extreme in post of our reason that does not repair resources to show the other person that we have it.

On the other hand, sometimes we put so much vehemence in this discussion that we can end up hurting the other person without realizing it, when the issue is not of great importance or in the end, no matter how confident we are, in this case, the reason is not us. attend and our memory fails us.