Having A Partner Complements Us, It Does Not Build Us

Since Aristotle argued something like ‘love is composed of a single soul that inhabits two bodies’, it seems that the conception of having a partner has been adapted to it. However, what we do not usually remember is that he also said: ‘The most powerful man is the one who is master of himself.’

I am aware that both statements are decontextualized and that I do not know to what extent Aristotle really had to do with them, but they serve to introduce the topic of this article: love in the form of a couple can be very enriching, but it is beneficial to know it is not necessary.

A partner is not necessary, but it can make us better

Let’s put ourselves in a situation: we have a very important event to which we are asked to be dressed in a certain way and for which we will think for a long time which accessories are best suited for us with that imposed outfit.

At the moment in which we have discovered how to put these accessories, they enhance what we wear: with the relationships we maintain something similar happens but better, because what will be enhanced will be what goes inside the clothes.

The accessories (having a partner) are not necessary, but if we decide to have them they provide us with other peculiarities that we would not have without them. They are like a plus: a couple is a plus of experiences, support and teachings to share that can make us better, because we will learn even from the times that go wrong.

The couple with independence and spaces

Having a partner, in fact, is a fortune as long as the members of the same respect their emotional independence and their spaces since it is the way we have to fulfill ourselves and grow. That is, there are two different lives within the couple that require their share of individualized attention in order to progress together.

The moment we realize that we are happy with our loneliness and that we don’t need anyone to be, we understand the importance of these ideas. In fact, it often happens that the closer someone wants to be to us, the more we run away, because we feel self-conscious and even a little harassed.

In other words, love is not rational but it needs a bit of a head if we want the idea of ​​having a partner to be lasting. Wanting to be with someone means understanding that one day that person may leave and we will continue, hurt, but whole.

Love is a decision, not an addiction

Love as a couple is not an addiction or an obsession, although the first months of a relationship may seem like this : we become engulfed in a nebula in which times and spaces are confused, we have plenty of reasons and reasons to share them with the other person .

The truth is that obsessions are not healthy and can lead us to toxic relationships, in which we stop valuing ourselves to live in a false world and oblivious to the true face of things, blindfolded by unrealities.

In this sense, if we decide to start a relationship it is because we believe that we are ready for it: to fall in love with another person and to continue cultivating self-love. We choose to start and we choose to finish because we do not belong to anyone and no one belongs to us, although sometimes we have been led to believe that we do.