Honor The Memory Of A Loved One
Coping with the loss of a loved one can be challenging. Often times, the pain of loss can get over us. Thus, in people who are in full mourning we can identify a large number of emotions: from shock , through anger and guilt, to reach deep sadness. Now we ask ourselves: in a grieving situation, how to preserve the memory of a loved one?
In the animated film UP , we see how Carl Friedricksen has to cope with the death of his wife, Ellie. Filled with sadness, Carl regrets not having succeeded in fulfilling a shared dream: visiting Paradise Falls.
Carl is haunted by his grief at the death of the person he loved the most in his entire life. After Ellie’s death, Carl becomes morose and moody, as the duel overtakes him.
After a loss
Grief is a natural response to loss. We are talking about an emotional suffering that we have to work with despite the threat or pain that it contains.
When analyzing a grieving process, it is important to remember that each process is different. It is marked by the loss, but also by the circumstances of the lost and the person who loses. Thus, the best starting point for people who want to help is to avoid comparisons with personal experiences.
On the other hand, an attitude that never helps the other is contempt for what is lost. It is the one who feels the grief who estimates the importance of the loss and ultimately who has to decide how they want to integrate this absence into their life history.
How to honor the memory of a loved one
In the movie UP , the elderly Friedricksen finds a creative way to process his grief. As a last gift to his late wife, Carl decides to carry out their dream trip. So soon Carl devises a strategy to bring their house to Paradise Falls, a place Ellie always wanted to visit. Only in this way, Carl manages to reconcile with the death of his wife: honoring her memory.
There are multiple ways to process a grieving process. Here are some suggested ways to honor the memory of a loved one.
Organize a donation or charitable action on behalf of the person you love
Many times we want to help, but we can’t find the right way. In going through a loss, many people have found that helping others makes them feel better. So, if you think it is a good way, choose a task for which you can be useful in tune with the prior interests of the person who has left. In this way, you will feel your actions as a gift to the deceased person.
Let your emotions breathe
Try to get your emotions to breathe. Avoid storing them, suffocating them, until you can’t take it anymore. Think that emotional explosions are characterized by a lack of control, so that they can be hurtful to those around you or even to yourself.
It is important to recognize our emotions and externalize them. One way to express feelings is to write, for example. It is also possible to paint or have an open dialogue.
Surround yourself with love
In moments of grief and loss, many people fall into a depressed state. They unwittingly plunge into a state characterized by hopelessness, apathy, and sadness.
Depression has different symptoms: drowsiness, mood swings, and a tendency to loneliness. Loneliness is often important and beneficial: it allows a person space to think. However, in the event of a duel, loneliness can be harmful. Loneliness in depression tends to foster feelings of helplessness and abandonment in people.
Action leads to healing
Various experts explain that the grieving process has several stages: denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. Although some people experience grief as a staged process, grief to honor the memory of a loved one generally does not happen that way.
People have good days and bad days. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you process your grief. You should not be discouraged if you wake up one day and feel very bad, when you had already felt that you were moving forward.
We have some suggestions for you to process a grief. The first is organization and involves the responsibilities that, for example, can be derived from a death. Making a to-do list will help you stay organized and not despair.
The second suggestion has to do with communication with our body and food. Eating healthy will make you feel better about your body. The third tip is to exercise regularly. Just like eating healthy, exercising will release a series of hormones that will make you feel better.
Manage the duel for the loved one at your own pace
Throughout a grieving process, it is key to remember that it is not a race. It’s not about competing with others to see who gets better again faster. The duel takes time.
Do not rush to feel better, each person has their individual process. For this reason, not all ways of processing pain will work for you. See grief as an opportunity to rediscover yourself: understand what is the best way for you to integrate the loss.
