5 Steps To Heal A Loss

In the course of our lives it is common for us to find ourselves with many losses. Healing a loss is a lesson that all people have to face sooner or later. The problem is when we resist accepting that life is loss, that it is inevitable and is a necessary process for our personal growth.

When we suffer great losses, we put all our energy into what we lose, without seeing the other side of everything significant that has been present in our lives and has had a special value. To suffer a loss it has been necessary to experience an important presence with whom we have been fortunate to share unique moments.

Experiencing a significant loss, such as the death of someone special, a love that moves away, a friendship that ends, etc …, leaves us in a defenseless state, with a great emptiness ; where we can feel sadness, anger, fear and emotional ups and downs. It is a state of mourning in which each person does their own personal process.

Healing a loss is a complex process, since to return to integrity you have to go through a journey of ups and downs, as if it were a roller coaster.

When we believe we are healed, whole and under acceptance, we are suddenly plunged back into anguish and despair; moving forward and backward. And this is how we end up healing ourselves, feeling the whole process, each of its steps, without blocking it.

1. Respect our process for healing a loss

Each person experiences loss in a different way, with their own rhythm and their own particular way. Denial is part of this process and serves to protect us from what we are not prepared to deal with.

Many people believe they are cold and do not understand why they do not perceive their feelings in the face of great losses. These emotions and feelings are saved since they involve a lot of pain, and they appear when we are prepared to be able to bear them and face them. It can even take years.

This is common in children and adolescents, who are not able to perceive these strong feelings until they become adults and are ready. It is then when everything that supposed that loss appears so that they can face that situation.

2. Pain is always personal

No one can tell us how to heal a loss we have experienced. As much as we try to find the answers in others, only in us is the process of how to heal our loss.

And this process requires your own time, it is never too slow or too fast; As long as we continue to move forward in our lives and do not stagnate, then we will be healing our wound.

3. We cannot protect ourselves from further losses

Assuming that losses are necessary in our world is one of the lessons learned from losses themselves. When we try to protect ourselves from further losses, we are immersing ourselves in them, and we are causing them in an unconscious way.

Having suffered losses and going through very hard processes, we may want to protect ourselves from them; protecting us, creating a shield that prevents the suffering that we have previously gone through. However, this is not possible since moving away from what we do not want to lose is a loss in itself.

4. The way out of pain is pain itself

This is an essential way to heal a loss, we cannot avoid the pain and emotions that loss generates. When we are ready to face the loss we will feel the pain it entails, and trying to avoid these feelings only stalls us in suffering.

Loss involves pain, it makes us more authentic and upright people, teaching us to value the things that really matter.

5. The love that we have given and felt is never lost

What really matters is not lost, we take it with us, we have lived it, felt it ; It has transformed us and made us who we are. That is why there is no point in trying to avoid any experience for fear of loss. Because the only thing we take with us is what we have felt.