I Want To Be A Mother, But I’m Afraid

Times have changed so much that they have even transformed the conception of motherhood, giving way to a good number of myths and making the feat an intimidating process for some women. Even wanting to have a child, they abstain from it because the complexity of the challenge overwhelms them.

The good thing is that currently it is you and only you who decide if you want to be a mother or not. We are talking about a great achievement because until relatively recently there was a lot of social pressure on the issue.

The problem is that now some women have gone to the opposite extreme. For them, having a child stopped being a natural event and became something too complex, which is better to avoid. It is not like this. The only really important thing in all this is that each woman be consistent with her desire.

Fear of motherhood

Experiencing a certain fear of motherhood is perfectly normal. It is a situation that involves structural changes, both in the body and in the life project. It is also an experience that involves accepting a share of physical and psychological pain.

Now, sometimes, that fear also comes from other different sources. You may have heard stories that made a big impact on you, especially from older women. Until not many decades ago, deliveries took place in very difficult conditions. The mothers were not adequately prepared or did not receive very complete assistance and attention from the medical staff.

Some women also make the decision to stop being mothers because they do not believe they are ready for it. However, no one really is. One of the realities of life is that we are never sufficiently prepared for what happens to us. Neither to grow nor to separate ourselves from the people we love nor to grow old, etc.

Likewise, it is possible that they abandon the idea of ​​being a mother because they think that life is very difficult, or they feel that their anxieties , depressions, etc. will be inherited to their child. Perhaps they are viewing everything in a very rigid and absolutist way. There is no way that life does not include suffering, deprivation and mistakes. Still, it also has wonderful paths to be traveled.

Do not stop being a mother out of fear

Whatever the source of fear, the most important thing is that you do not go against your most genuine desires. If you really want to have a child, the way forward is not to stop being a mother out of fear, but to introspect to analyze the situation and find possible resistance: material, social or personal.

Where does your fear come from? Is it reasonable or not? Do you really want to be a mother, or is the fear born precisely that you do not want it and only contemplate the possibility because you feel pressured by something or someone? Introspection is just one of the actions you can take. You can also find out about  the medical services you have access to in case you decide to have a child.

It is important that you know how far your health coverage reaches, in what type of centers you will be treated and what professionals you have at your disposal. Also check if your health service offers you psychoprophylactic courses and psychosocial support during pregnancy.

Clarify desire

It is convenient that to all the above you add a thorough evaluation of your situation. Do you have the support of your partner? Do you have the support of your family? These are factors to consider before making the decision. It will not make you happy to be a mother to please others nor will it stop being a mother because others do not see it with good eyes.

Likewise, assess your socioeconomic conditions. You don’t have to be a millionaire to bring a child into the world, but you do need to be able to offer them some stability. Also that you have enough time to dedicate it to him.

Once you carry out these basic actions, you will probably feel more confident in what you really want to do. Whether a child is desired or not usually has consequences beyond the moment. That desire is what on many occasions marks the deepest part of his being. If you want to be a mom, fight to be one in the best way you can. Never ever forget.