Not Loving Oneself, What Causes?
How many times have you heard that you should love yourself more? Really, if you love yourself you can love others, or that’s what they say, what do you think?
So if loving oneself seems so good, why do we choose otherwise? Who would choose not to love themselves? Today we will give answers to all these questions.
I choose not to love myself
Maybe you have never experienced it, but many times when faced with a negative moment or situation that marks us, we tend to act in the opposite way to which we should proceed. Why do we do that? Why do we rejoice in that which hurts and hurts us?
Simply, because it is a “masochistic” way of facing what has damaged us, for a moment to have the control that we have not had over it.
In the case of choosing not to love yourself, it may be because it is easier for you to let others think for you. The others are the important ones, you are not. Do you know what causes this?
1. Excuses
You have a thousand and one excuses to believe that they should not love you : you do not deserve it, you are not important, you are always the problem, and so on. These and many other excuses prevent you from loving yourself and prevent others from loving you. This plunges you home once more into deep unhappiness.
2. You avoid risks
At first, we can think that avoiding risks is something positive, quite the opposite! Avoid the risk of having friendship or love relationships so as not to have to go through rejection, the pain is not worth it! It’s part of us to take risks because what if it turns out right? What if you are happy?
3. Do not advance
Stagnate, avoid moving forward for fear that everything will change. This is the fear of many people. Get out of that comfort zone! You feel safe, but you don’t move forward! We are destined to find something more, progress. If there is not, our life will be meaningless and thus, can we live happily?
4. Be a martyr
Besides not loving yourself, you love that they feel sorry for you. In other words, sad. Do you really feel good in this facet of martyrdom?
Behind all that pain that you struggle to feel, there is a significant frustration and fear. Instead of taking refuge in the pitiful words of others, in feeding on that , change! There are other exits, you should not close in band. You have to move on.
5. Pity yourself
Besides choosing not to love yourself, you feel sorry for yourself! This serves as an escape valve, but how long can you continue like this? Change, being different scares you.
You must begin to face your fears in another way. Try not to hide! Don’t look for an escape valve, turn around and face what you’re running from. Now is the time.
6. Complain and protest
You become someone who continually complains and protests about everything. But, it’s funny! Well, you do nothing about it to solve those situations about which you show displeasure and complaints. It’s ironic, right? What are you waiting for to act?
7. Try to be a good boy
You go back in time with the aim of becoming that good boy that the grown-ups wanted you to be. Perfection does not exist. We constantly make mistakes. Wanting to be “perfect” is useless. Instead of maturing, you will become more childish. Is that what you want to get to?
8. Impossible to live your life
Who is going to live your life if you are not yourself? Because you feel that you are not worthy of being happy, you are not able to take charge of your own life. You don’t know how to live your life, how to take charge of it. What are you waiting for? Start living your life now.
9. The others ahead of you
As we mentioned before, you will always think that others are more important than you. This will make your life be that of others. And your own life? Aren’t you curious how it could be?
If after reading this article you have realized that you do not love yourself, give it a solution! There is not a single advantage to it, just frustrations, sadness and great unhappiness. Your life is yours. Live it and make the most of it because there is only one. What will be your choice?
