Returning To The Parents’ House Due To Financial Difficulties, How To Deal With It?

The crisis, and in particular that of 2020, brings with it changes of all sizes and in different orders of life. One of the phenomena that has increased this year is that of adults who are forced to return to their parents’ home due to lack of financial resources to pay their rent.

This situation has taken place in practically the entire world, with the few exceptions of countries where the crisis has not had a devastating impact or which have very effective mechanisms to assist those who have been left without much of their resources.

Going back to the parents’ house is not an easy situation for anyone. Neither for those who have to leave behind an independent life nor for those who receive a child or several again, with whom they have not lived for a long time. Assuming this new condition and adapting to it is sometimes not so easy.

Going home to parents: the boomerang generation

Going home to parents is a growing trend. As state assistance has declined in many countries, while employment and economic conditions have become harsher, more and more adults are being forced, in some way, to return.

Socio-economic conditions have also led to many adults not being able to emancipate themselves from family guardianship. They simply are not going to live alone  because they cannot find the means to do so. However, the case of those who have become emancipated and then have to return is very complex.

There has even been talk of the boomerang generation to talk about all those people who have had to return to the starting box. Resuming coexistence with the original family is not bad, the problem appears when it is not an option, but practically the last resort to survive.

A problem or an opportunity?

There is a general idea that emancipation from the parental home is an achievement. It is practically considered the definitive step towards adult life and, therefore, returning to the parents’ home is seen as a step backwards. However, the subject is not always as black and white as it seems.

Going back can be a great opportunity to join forces. On the economic level, adding small amounts of income creates an environment in which everything is used much more. Pragmatic? Yes, but it works.

If you arrive at the original home due to financial problems, it is better not to leave out precisely the financial side. It is not about going to find people to support the adult; the person who returns to his parents’ house has the obligation to look for formulas to contribute.

You can do it in work, but also in services. You return to your parental home, but you do not become a child again. Independence is renounced, but not adulthood.

Understanding and respect

The logic of the parental home imposes another kind of frontiers. Reunification requires an extra understanding and sensitivity for the host and the host. So that the experience does not become a kind of punishment, it is necessary that both parties give in. It is about finding a place of understanding that favors coexistence and gives value to the recovered group.

Parents will have to assume that the “recovered child” is fully adult, is governed by their own codes and their behavior is anchored in certain values. A son returns with whom they will have to establish a much more symmetrical relationship than the one they had with him when he was a child or adolescent.

For their part, the person who returns will have to adapt and respect the rules of the foster home. It is necessary to close this pact for the experience to be positive.